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Friday, May 30, 2008

Leng Jen.

hey woman, thanks for always being there for me. this post is specially dedicated to you.
thanks for crying with me, laughing with me, sharing the good and bad times with me all these while. thanks for your encouragement, your motivation, your inspiration and all. you were the one who gave me strength, who gave me the willpower to persevere, no matter what difficulties i face.

i'll always remember the times we've shared during training. there was this point when i was on the verge of giving up, but your presence made me stay on, to persevere and to get on with my life. i wonder what would become of me if you're not around.

now, we are facing so many challenges. so much that we often ask ourselves, "why are we trying so hard?" lengjen, we must not think that way kay? we must stay strong. stay strong and never give up. we have to persevere. remember our goals? we must fulfil them someday yeah? we'll do it together.

jump. jump high. jump far. jump with all your might.

i love you.

i'll hang on. (dated Thursday, 15 May 2008)

thanks for willing to give me the chance to try it out. i really appreciate it.

i'm very very tired now. but i can't give up, or else i'll be deemed as a loser. that isn't what you want, jolene. you know best. i've seen myself change over the months. that's good enough i guess. i'm contented. i know i'm just not up to standard, but i'll try my very very best. i promise you. i'll prove it to you. i'll show you that whatever you've done has not gone down the drain. perhaps i need time, but i'll do my best, somehow. i really dun wanna let you down. i must overcome that difficulty. somehow, i have to find a way out. i can't always be living in my comfort zone, complacent, not wanting to budge and get out of that zone.

thanks for not giving up on me. thanks for making me feel that at least my existence does matter.

i promise to do my best for you.
i won't be a coward and give up easily.

there's still a long way. i'll get on with this journey bravely, staring down at all the difficulties that block my path.

LIMELIGHT! (: (dated Thursday, 15 May 2008)

Yesterday was the BIG DAY for CEDAR CHOIR! yeah, it was their performance at the Esplanade!

Julene, Yushu, Singyi, Hanis, Boonhui and me met at Marina Square, had our lunch at KFC and chionged to Esplanade. On our way to Esplanade, we saw this guy, about our age i guess, he stopped us. LOL. and guess what? he asked us for 60 cents! his actions were super super funny. i ran away, but it was seriously damn funny and all of us couldn't control our laughter until we entered Esplanade. We were soon seated, at the same row as jinrong, syuhaidah, zhixuan, alex and all.

The performance started. and ended in the twinkling of an eye. LIMELIGHT was SO SUPER DAMN NICE! Many months of effort have finally paid off for Cedar Choir! Yesterday's performance was great, I LOVE IT! wouldn't mind watching again.

i'm really really proud to be a CEDARIAN, seriously. I LOVE MY SCHOOL.

after the entire performance, singyi, yushu, julene, boonhui, hanis, yantian, catherine, xuepiao and me went somewhere near the exit. we stood there like some retards. nonetheless, we saw many many many people! so cool! we saw mr ang and his wife, (they were so shy!), mr anil and his wife, mr tay and his wife, etc etc. we all waited and waited patiently for MR GABRIEL LENG. but we did not see him! hmph. cheat our feelings. tsk tsk.

and then ________ and his friend was there too! so funny lah! he waited very patiently for _________. I shan't mention their names, in case both of them are awkward. and when _________ came out, he was blushing! his face was as red as tomato lah! tsk tsk. but we all thought that he's a gentleman, and it was really sweet of him! on top of that, he bought ________ a soft toy! YAY :D ________ was super embarrassed too! but yeah, it was really nice!

after that i went home with jinrong, atikah, zhi xuan and all! (:

I LOVE THE PERFORMANCE! good job cedar choir!


LOVE. (dated: Tuesday, 13 May 2008)

Love is a thing shared by two
Love is what you feel for me and you
Love is precious when its shared
Love is danger when its dared
Love wanders and searches for the one
Love plays and just do it for fun
Love lets you hear love songs to emote
Love lets you make sweet poems & a quote
Love makes the world go around
Love makes us happy if the one we love is finally found
Love turns the world upside down
Love cheers us never with a frown
Love makes you cry
Love sacrifices and says goodbye
Love has its own reason and time
Love can make someone you love "mine"
Love makes a person kiss
Love makes a person miss
Love is experienced by all
Love conquers when you fall.

during french class today, we finally finished watching the movie "A folie pas du tout." it was really really nice and i love it. it talks about how much this woman is in love with a married guy. she's so deeply in love with him that she went crazy and all.the word LOVE seems so simple to many people. but how exactly do you define love? is loving someone a responsibility?
perhaps we can all give it some serious thought.

je veux créer ma propre histoire d'amour.

i'm in trepidation.(dated Thursday, 15 May 2008)

have i made the wrong choice?

i'm in a dilemma now. i have no idea what should be my next step. i've not felt like that in my entire life before. it really sucks okay. your heart is broken into two. one part wants you to stay and get on with your life; the other wants you to leave this place and start a new life.
what should i do? what should be my decision?

i am stuck.

Life's so screwed. (dated Tuesday, 13 May 2008)

i'm so tired. everyday. i simply dread going to school. there's like this cycle occuring in my life. every morning, i wake up, dog-tired. then i wash up and all, have my breakfast and go to school. in school, i have to tahan all the boring lectures and lessons. then finally, i hear the school bell ring. YAY, school is OVER. but wait, NO. i still have cca or french or whatever crap after school. so there goes my entire afternoon.

i'm getting sick. sick sick sick. life is so screwed, so stressful. hate it. i'm like underperforming in everything that i do. which seriously sucks.

give up give up give up give up.

i tried my best. i did. i gave myself a chance, but i just cant do it. i's so sorry. i think i'm just gonna give up. forget about everything.

LONG JUMP (dated Friday, 9 May 2008)

I'm in love with long jump!
long jump rocks. long jump rocks. long jump rocks. long jump rocks.

Today during training, we did long jump and yeah. I thought i improved. I deserve a pat on the back yeah! I think I probably broke my pb (which is really really lousy), but still, i feel a sense of achievement!

So now, what I have to do is to master the technique. Like how natalie did it. So cool!

Run fast, bigger strides, don't look at the board. Reach the board, push off hard with left leg, aim high, stay tall, feel like you're flying in the air, thrust you hips out, bring my leg up, push it back, and arch in the air.

Basically that's it!
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support today! I did it! Unbelievable!

a miracle has happened. it happened on me. my efforts weren't useless. the injury i had from the strenuous training programmes weren't for nothing. it wasn't stupid of me to tolerate the pain and all. i did it. i improved.

I wanna FLY. I wanna SOAR.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

hello everyone.
i have switched to xanga.
so please relink!
thanks! :D


Monday, May 5, 2008

i shall start with a statement.


i shall start elaborating!
the fun part was before training!

me, leng jen, jue ying, jing yi and jie wei were at 2H classroom.
haha it was after lunch.
and i dunno what got over me.
i just went crazy i guess.
like a mad cow. moo moo moo!

ok its rather embarrasing to describe what i did lah.
but yeah.
i changed my attire. as in the way i wear it!
and i carried jue ying's bag to training!
my gosh.
on the way to the gym we were all laughing like mad.
haha, cos i look so dumb and idiotic!
but it was kinda cool!
when i stepped into the gym, the whole team was already there!
and yeah, i tried to control my laughter and walked in as if nothing was wrong!
hahah. people burst out laughing! :D
and i laughed too!

so yeah.
actually i think my new look is quite cool huh?
what do you guys think?
hehehe. (:

alright, so training was generally okay.
weights training as usual.
no comments.

and yeah after that was leg drills.
hahah. and after that we went home!
nothing much lah.

but somehow i enjoy trainings more and more (:
perhaps as time goes by, i've grown attached to jumps.
it changed me a lot, a lot.

i love my wonderful team mates who are always there for me.
i love my lovely seniors.
i love my cute cute juniors.
i love my team.

i love J5 especially.
thanks people.
you guys made me grow stronger in face of adversities.
you guys gave me the courage to persevere on no matter what.
you guys share all the good and bad times with me.
you guys are always there for me.
i can't thank you enough for that. really.
you guys rock.
thanks lengjen. thanks jueying. thanks jing yi. thanks jie wei.

my back hurts seriously.
a lot a lot.
even when i'm doing squats and stuff.
it hurts.
i hate myself for that.
jolene, can you just like shut up, and tahan for a while?
you'll get well SOON.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

let me introduce...
In the first picture, john is the third from the left.
and grace is obviously the only girl in the picture!

In the second picture, john is the third one from the left.
and grace is the last girl from the left!

oh, hopefully i get my directions right.
did i?

anyway, they look so cute!

ok thats all for today i guess.
john, do you have anything to say?
hahah. :D



well, this weekend passed in the twinkling of an eye. again.
why do weekends pass so fast?
so fast that i havent even got the time to rest and take a break.
and 'boom", it's monday again.

monday blues. monday blues. moday blues.

i dun look forward to school.
boring lessons.
monotonous lectures.
urghhh. it's driving me mad.

i want holidays!
perhaps i should just shut up and wait.
wait wait wait.

well, i'm super stressed the past few days.
doing all that ip stuff.
dumb dumb.
i really hope that my dream will come through.
it seems impossible though.
like come on, jolene, you're not smart, and neither are you good.
yeah so let's see if you're lucky enough to get in.

i wish.