Thank you Roysmond.
Thank you Wei Ren.
(((:

11:23 PM ·

I'm Free.

It was hard.
But I did it.

I've learnt that I shouldn't cling on to the past.
I've learnt to look forward to the present.
I've learnt to take care of myself.
I've learnt lots of stuff.

I am glad that I finally loosened my grip.
I am glad that we're still friends.
I am glad for with this decision that I made.

Things will never go back to before.

I'm glad that I stopped myself
before it gets too hard.

I'm free.

11:16 PM ·

I'm tired.
I'm sick.
I need a break.

But there's
20 over more days.
I can't afford to waste any time.

I seriously need miracles.

I need to get rid of everything that has got nothing to do with English, Chinese, Maths, Science, Gego, History and Literature out of my head.

Out out out.
Get out.

11:14 PM ·

Perseverance.

When the veil of darkness has draped itself around your life and concealed the tears of your pain and despair, when the destiny you had envisaged has all but faded like water amongst the golden sands of the desert, when you stand alone in your hour of adversity and need and no-one is willing to stand beside you, when the battles within your life are on the verge of defeat and ruin, when you are in exile within your own mind, when your heart is empty and is merely watered by the tears of your agonized and anguished soul.

When you feel like a bird caged behind bars which once flew high above snow capped mountains free and unhindered and now reach out to touch the essence of your dreams, when tears and sorrow have embraced your soul, when the temples of your dreams lie in ashes like the ruins of an ancient age gone by and there are no traces of your footsteps within the valley of your dreams.

When the haunting silence of the darkness hangs like a shadow within the depths of your heart. When you cling like a child to the dreams of yesterday, when the light of dawn refuses to appear and the sun refuses to shine, when each day has become an eternal struggle to survive.

When there is no light amongst the darkness within your existence, when your wounds cry out to be healed, when fear has held courage ransom, when your soul stands in solitude and loneliness choking on its tears of isolation under a moon which no longer smiles and no longer yearns to gaze at his children; the stars, when all those around you have betrayed you, when love has left your heart and refuses to return.

When you no longer believe in yourself, when pain and grief are your constant companions, when there is no vision within the mists of your agony, when no one is willing to listen to and understand you, when peace seems to be in a distant world, when life no longer has the belief to run within your veins, when you have become a fugitive within your own mind and shackled like a slave within your own insanity, refuse with every last drop of sacred blood within your bruised and battered body, to surrender your soul to the pains of your existence.

You must believe in yourself-even if all those around you doubt you and in your ability to rise from within the insanity in which your life now finds itself and to stand tall against the obstacles and challenges within your life-and you will conquer all that you believe cannot be conquered and all that which you believed you had lost within your life.

It is from the darkest hours of our lives, from the depths of our despair and pain and in our greatest hour of adversity that we find an inner strength, an inner courage and an inner meaning so vast that it enables us to rise from our knees and stand tall and fight that which has made us weak.

Just as water runs from a stream, as the oak tree grows strong and upright, as snow-the softest and most peaceful of natures elements-covers the most fierce of mountains and tames its anger portraying it merely as a pawn within the hands of nature so new life and meaning will emerge from your own inner source.

Do not at any cost surrender your life to the weaknesses within your life. Do not surrender your life to the mediocre thoughts of others; do not surrender the belief you hold in yourself and in your abilities, do not surrender the dreams that you have worked so hard to hold within the palms of your hands. For what right do others have to judge another's dreams for they have not walked a mile in your shoes! There are no limits to your courage and determination. The only limitations are those that we place upon ourselves. Our thoughts make the world what we want it to be. Mold your thought into a weapon of immense power.

Wipe away the tears from your heart and let your life be brushed by the fingertips of your immortal soul, breathe deep, with purpose and a deep held conviction. There is an inner strength and an inner peace within us all, which the world cannot penetrate and the hypocrisy and ignorance of the human mind cannot poison. Embrace that inner source of strength and you will become fearless and the obstacles within your life will seem insignificant.

You must be undisturbed and stern in your resolve that you are a creature so versatile and resilient that you cannot be defeated and you must hold firm in the conviction that you will not be defeated. You are a creature of boundless beauty and perseverance. You are a creature which can and which will endure. There is nothing that you cannot achieve and there is nothing that you do not have the ability to overcome within your life. Harness the power of your mind for it is your greatest barrier.

You are an individual of immense courage within the battlefield of life and there is no greater battle than that which will be fought with your own life. You must not, despite the pain, the despair, the grief, the intensity, the loneliness within your life, surrender the very essence of your dignity and hope to the enemy which hovers around you in pursuit of conquering both your mind and your soul.

I do not believe in defeat because defeat does not believe in me. I do not believe in fear for I am fearless. I do not believe in pain for I find strength in the weaknesses of my enemies. Within the mist of your despair and the obstacles and challenges that life presents before you be calm and peaceful. An angry and misguided mind will make decisions and judgment based on haste and anger which in the long run will continue to merely add to your suffering whereas the peaceful mind within that moment of insanity will have the ability to bring forth a clear, reasoned judgment and solution to the challenges at hand.

No one owns you so you have not lost anything. Only you can give away or surrender all that you hold to the challenges within your life. Control your mind from its aimless wandering within your own insanity-guide it to think positively and with purpose. Once you have conquered your mind you will also introduce yourself to an inner peace, which will bring meaning and a freedom to both your life and thought.

Do not kneel before anyone for your knees were not made for such purposes, they were made for the purpose of enabling you to stand upright! Be like an elephant, which once upright will not easily be brought to its knees! Adapt your mind, thinking, actions and life to the challenges, which have surrounded your existence.

You and you alone hold the foundations of your dreams and your destiny in the way you approach the challenges and obstacles within your life. Do not falter in the face of adversity; rise to the challenge however difficult it may be. Your difficulties will only be difficult if you believe them to be difficult. How can you fear that which you have never challenged?

Endure and challenge the pains of your existence for freedom will wait for you and it will eventually embrace you. In defeating the challenges within your life continue to be a good person, do not become like your enemies for to do so will deprive your soul of the peace it desires.

You must be like the seasons of the year ever changing, ever adapting, ever growing, and ever challenging. Nature is always in constant change, the old give way to the new, and this is the course of life. Yet within this existence life continues, it evolves and continues to grow despite its pains.

Your time has not yet come to let nature embrace you in its totality, so go forth into the wilderness of your life and reclaim what mother nature granted you at birth; the right to dream, the right to live and the right to be who you want to be. Challenge with the might of your mind and your inner strength all the barriers that your existence places at the gates of your destiny. If you don't risk anything, you risk even more!

For within the midst of our suffering there is a meaning!

As Carl Jung once commented:"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."

11:01 PM ·