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Monday, June 9, 2008

sick sick sick.
sick of my life.

homework.
project.
everything is simply piling up like yeah, endless.
my holidays are like totally screwed.
hectic everyday, no time for myself.
even though there's time, i would always tell myself, "hey can you like just stop day dreaming? just get on with your work. you've got loads of them to clear!"
yes that's what i tell myself.

seriously sometimes i think that i'm such a loser.
yes loser. and i mean it.
mugging doesn't improve my results at all!
i would like to slack too. like really for once, don't think about anything.
don't think about work.
but i just can't help it.
perhaps this has become my habit. a habit which i could never change.

i'm so envious of so many people around me.
to them, life is so simple.
they live them to their fullest. enjoy themselves. have fun. full stop, thats it.

when can i do that?
when can i tell everyone proudly, "i love my life. i enjoy living on this world."
okay that sounded emo. but what i'm saying is like from the bottom of my heart.
these few months weren't easy for me.
a long and tough jouney.
many failures, lots of tears, lots of unhappiness.

i want to do my parents proud.
i don't want to disappoint them.
but sometimes i just can't bear with the stress.

i want to give up, but obviously i can't.
if i do, what will become of me?
i seriously can't imagine.

stress stress stress.



















i want my freedom.